Surviving Barstool Episode 5 Recap: Did The Jurors Get It Right?

 

You can call him an asshole, you can call him a douchebag, you can call him a rat who thinks he is smarter than everyone, you can call him a spray-tanned weird lip sits with his feet facing each other awkward freak, but you must also call him champion. Tommy motherfucking Smokes fulfilling his lifelong dream in the Surviving Barstool finale winning the ten thousand dollars, but more importantly to him proving that he has the gameplay skills to compete on another similarly ran network television show. 

Going into the episode I had broken down how and why each of the final four could win, and I really thought that each of them had a chance to do so. In my blog yesterday I said that I felt that Brianna was safe and that we’d likely see a 2-2 tie between one of the guys and Kelly, and with Bri winning immunity I thought logically that that is where we were heading. However, one thing I did not account for was Tommy Smokes coming in with a fake idol! I mean Jesus, what a conniving play to come to the game with a fake idol already pre made. This totally changed the balance of power in the final four. Tommy essentially acted like he was safe the whole day even when people were 99% sure the idol was fake! This made the topic of conversation switch to Kelly vs Nick when it was clearly in the best interest of everyone there to get rid of Tommy.

Just before tribal Kelly said she was going to have a conversation with Nick after essentially being sure Tommy’s idol was fake. 

There it is! I thought, they have him in the lie! He couldn't even keep his story straight on where he found his idol! He said he didn’t even have any clues!! COME ON PEOPLE!!! All they have to do is use their numbers and force his hand! I was really hoping Nick would realize that Tommy was voting for Kelly no matter what, so even if his idol was real Nick could have organized the rest of them to vote 3-1 against Tommy and then had either Tommy out, or Kelly. This in my opinion would have been the move that could have won Nick the game. I think Kelly would have been just as hard to beat as Tommy, especially if Tommy isn’t there, but Nick might have been able to get Tommy’s jury vote in this scenario and win 3-1-1. But alas, Tommy ended up keeping the conversation as Nick vs Kelly, and the group decided between the two of them that Kelly was the bigger threat, and they sent her packing.

Speaking of Kelly, as I said in my first blog, she was my value pick from the start and throughout the season she played an almost perfect game, but WHY WOULD SHE MAKE HER PITCH THAT TOMMY AND BRI SHOULD WANT TO “WIN AGAINST THE BEST” ????? COME ON KEEGS!!! I was literally yelling at my TV as Kelly gave her pitch to stay. Never say you’re the biggest threat and that they should eliminate the “worse player.” On top of that, that “worse player” was by far and away the best and most likable part of the show and ended up a jury vote away from winning the game. Why Kelly didn’t pitch that Nick’s likability/office popularity would help him in a bitter jury that had never watched the other similar reality television show is beyond me. It really was the only flaw in her game, but sadly it was a huge one that cost her a chance at ten thousand dollars. Keegs if you see this, you’re still the number one person in the office I would choose to be the cool older sibling I always wanted. 

In the final tribal where the three remaining contestants pitched their case to the jury we had some great moments. White Sox Dave was electric per usual as he straight up bullied Tommy, showing why I think he was definitely a pledge master of a lower middle-tier fraternity in college. The handshake pull away move from Dave was hysterical, another classic Cowboy moment. I am glad he got to have that moment after only getting to be in the game for one day (I guarantee he will be back on this show). Brianna aced the questioning in the jury round, including a true masshole moment with Donnie that made a fellow masshole in myself smile bigger than I had all season and even dropping a bomb at Keegs that made me legitimately choke on my drink (the reaction shots of this of the jury, specifically Dave and Donnie if you didn't notice are A1). Tommy looked extremely nervous sitting awkwardly as ever, and it showed in the questions. If you made me describe Tommy in this moment to someone who has never seen the show I think I would do so by saying he was giving off vibes of a fourth-grader at a school spelling bee who was up next and knew damn well he had no chance against the kid who just spelled a three-syllable word considering he almost misspelled "thorough" the round before. The only thing that seemed to relax Fox News' Millenial Vaping Expert was when Kelly got up and went to bat for him in a speech that was better than the actual speech Tommy gave to the jurors themselves. Speaking of speeches though, the highlight of this tribal was Nick's speech. WOW. It came off as nice as it did confident. Realizing Nick had been playing the jurors as the nice guy both in and out of the game was supreme. He meticulously pulled all the right strings and did so while still coming across as the friendly alternative to the villain Tommy. It was at that moment I was certain we were in for a nailbiter. 

Now, onto the vote. As good as Nick's speech was, the jury, specifically Brianna at the end, ultimately made the right decision. Nick is funnier, cooler, and more enjoyable than Tommy. He is one of the most talented and well-liked people in Barstool history. He made the show extremely fun to watch and was by far and away the fan favorite of the season. He also did not deserve to win based upon game resumes. All of these things can be true. The point of the show is to outwit, outplay, and outlast. Tommy outwitted the game twice with his real and fake idol, outplayed the shit out of everyone from a social standpoint considering he was able to convince them to keep the guy who fucked them over multiple times, and the guy who is a huge survivor maniac, and although all of the final three outlasted, Tommy doing so with a major target on his back the whole time is much more impressive than Nick who everyone liked which made his journey to the end a lot easier. This is not to say Nick’s game wasn’t good. I have said in all my blogs that Nick was a sleeper and if he got to the final three with the right people he would win. Tommy was just not one of those people considering that they were on the same side the whole time and it was Tommy who had to make big plays to stay alive throughout the game. Like I said earlier, had Nick organized a move to get Tommy out at the final four could he have beat Keegs? It would have been very close, but quite possibly yes I think he could have. 

Also just by the way, Brianna Chickenfry deserves some money for being put in that position on live TV. Especially as the new girl in the office I couldn’t imagine the amount of anxiety she must have had. She played a hell of a game throughout the whole season, and the most impressive part about it is that her game got exponentially better each episode. She had never seen the show and also had no real personal connections to any player besides Kelly (who she blindsided in a great play), yet she was at final three and her knowledge of gameplay by that time was immense. Imagine what she could do a second time around in an all star season?? I think if Chickenfry ever comes back for another season she will be a real threat to run away with the whole thing.

Lastly, Logan and the production team deserve a whole lot of praise for this. The turnover on this entire season was one week, which is an extremely hard task to even get that done, never mind to do so as well as they did. The production value on this thing was out of this world, the fan service was supreme for both Stoolies and Survivor fans, and the editing was done very intelligently as to not give anything away and keep all of us on the edge of our seats the entire time. KFC also deserves a huge amount of praise for his job hosting this thing. He’s been one of my personal idols from a content standpoint for a long time, and it feels like with every new project we see him do we see another layer of him that is completely different than the last. Between KFC Radio, blogging, Friday Night Pints, Behind The Blog, VIVA Brand, and now this, his range is undeniable.

And I know I said lastly already but also a huge thank you to Tommy, Keegs, and Logan for consistently showing me love this week whether it be likes retweets or responses. It’s indescribably cool to see people you’ve looked up to for a long time not only read but share your work. I literally made this blog to just ramble to myself, but thanks to you guys I’ve gotten hundreds of views on these posts which I know doesn’t sound like a lot but it is to me and I am very grateful!

I was going to do a dreamcasting for season 2 in this blog but I decided I am going to sit on it think it over and make it as good and realistic as I can and that will drop Monday (or later today because I am really excited to do it).